for my mom.
because of your strength.
and the way you were cracking jokes the moment you were out of surgery.
and you never really complain, even though i can tell how much it hurts.
and you were so scared and i tried to be strong for you. and stoic. but i've never been good at pretending.
and i was so scared last night because i couldn't imagine my world without you in it.
couldn't. could not.
and the moment i saw you today i remembered that you weren't going to give up that easy.
cause you're tougher than people give you credit for.
and have i even told you yet thank you for everything you've taught me?
and have you even told me yet everything i need to know?
in life? as a woman? as an adult? cause i don't think i'm ready to do it on my own yet.
and i remember being with you when your father died and then your mother died.
and i couldn't understand yet where all that pain was coming from and i just wanted to shut it out. close it up.
and i remember going through mema's jewelry in that old house in columbus where no-one lived anymore and you read her letters, and you tried to be strong.
you didn't even know yet that you are strength. and kindness. and love.
all rolled into one.
thank you for being here.
a lot longer.
